The following year, Garrard Conley spent nine days in the belly of the beast, after his Baptist pastor father discovered that he was gay. We still have disagreement on LGBT issues. But she decided to take us home.. Garrard Conley spoke frankly about his heartbreaking ordeal - including that his own rapist had been the one to out him to his parents. Which 'Stranger Things' Character Are You? The event is open to the public. Exodus International grew and expanded throughout the world. Queer people can enjoy it and feel a cathartic effect if its not too triggering, but Joel from the beginning said, I want to make this for someone like your dad to realize he made a mistake. Thats a tricky but good goal to have. But I think because we were raised in the church (his father, Hershel, is a Baptist minister), you believe that life is full of temptation. Theres no questioning those fundamental building blocks: were born with sin; you must be saved by Jesus Christ or you wont get into Heaven. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text help to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Conley lives in New York with his husband and works as an activist and speaker, traveling the country to lecture at schools and other venues about radical compassion, trauma, and being gay in the South. Lightboxes. has been married to his husband since 2014. . When Conley realized he was gay, he knew it could impact those relationships negatively. Conley was 'disgusting, David said to Conleys mother. You had to really express things that youd never expressed before. What was it like walking onto set? Garrard Conley had just been through 11 days of what he describes as psychological torture when his mom pulled the car over and asked him, Are you going to kill yourself? He replied, Yes. His mother Martha recalls, I remember looking at him, and the look in his eyes, there was such sadness. Conley adds, I wasnt the person she knew.. If theres a way to do it within reason, to go back, even if its just Thanksgiving with a racist or homophobic part of the familyto not allow those spaces to feel comfortable when someone does or says something wrong. His mother, who has been doing press with him for the movie, is the real hero, Conley said. But all I know is to be aware that its happening, and its happening right in front of us and being justified by people who claim to believe in Jesus. 2016. ', All three agreed Conley should give Love in Action a try. His life seemed to split in two: his college life and his counseling sessions. It felt like a hug every time I would open my email inbox. 20 Garrard Conley pictures. I needed to get my son away from this. On the way out, Martha furiously questioned, What are your qualifications? Its become sexy to be anti-establishment. I would just say likeI think [the current political environment] has energized a lot of people to be activists. [2], Conley was raised first in Cherokee Village and then later in Mountain Home, Arkansas. FACEBOOK AUTHOR PAGE 'As she vomited in an adjacent bathroom, my father led me into his bedroom, the door clicking shut behind him, and explained that what I was feeling was wrong, that I was simply confused., He said: Youll never step foot in this house again if you act on your feelings. Fans Cant Believe How Old The Parents Are In 'Father Of The Bride', 'Empire Of Light' Is A Love Letter To Sam Mendes Heroic Mother, Rihanna Shares Video Of 'Black Panther 2' Filmmakers' First Reaction To Lift Me Up, Youll Definitely Recognise The Stars Of Amy Winehouses Biopic, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Something went wrong, please try again later. But what he could not have possibly imagined is that his ordeal would eventually lead to a best-selling book and film called Boy Erased, as . Raised in a rigid religion in the South, Conley, a survivor of sexual assault, was outed to hisfundamentalist Christian parents by a fellow college student who raped him. "We still have disagreement on LGBT issues," Conley told the BBC this past June about his father. While having a father who can't outwardly support him sounds less than ideal, Conley maintains that doesn't want to harbor resentment towards his family. I always knew she wouldnt react positively to knowing that I was gay, but I had no real insight because thoughts were swirling in my own brain at the time. Dad felt he could trust Joel. More so with fiction. Do you have any thoughts on how people who dont have that superpower can talk to fundamentalists to begin bridging that gap in these communities where they may not feel safe? His father, a devout man and a pillar of the community, was on the cusp of being ordained as a pastor. Despite this high-profile controversy, plus the countless other lives LIA shattered along the way, it continued to flourish. Publicity Ashley Garland Riverhead Books E: agarland (at) penguinrandomhouse (dot) com. When it was Conleys turn, he realized that he could walk out of the facility. And he has a congregation who, if he came out in support of me, would leave his church. I think the filmJoel [Edgerton, writer and director] from the very beginning designed the film to speak to parents who were on the fence or who had done something wrong to their LGBTQ children or relatives. Love in Action is now called Restoration Path. Filmmaker Gregg Araki explains how he expresses himself through his work and the progress that has been made since the Stonewall riots in 1969. In the movie, Nancy seems torn between her husband and son, and Conley empathizes with her, telling The Guardian, "Thats not a good place to be in.". [1], In June 2019, to mark the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots,[12] an event widely considered a watershed moment in the modern LGBTQ rights movement, Queerty named him one of the Pride50 "trailblazing individuals who actively ensure society remains moving towards equality, acceptance and dignity for all queer people". Producer of #UnErased, a podcast. 'Please help me to be pure. These six words became Garrard Conleys prayer and plea to God, uttered again and again, while he endured 'conversion therapy' to 'cure' him of being gay. [1][13] Conley currently holds an Assistant Professor of Creative Writing position at Kennesaw State University. During the day, every moment was scheduled with group sessions and activities. The addiction workbook went on to say that everything in our sinful, sexually deviant lives had been co-opted by the world, by Satan, Conley recalled. The handbook and the program forbid seemingly everything; even classical music was not allowed. In the movie, patients are subjected to physical abuse, which Conley says is accurate, though it didnt happen to him. Theres a tendency to believe that its a completely black-and-white world view. his fathers ordination ceremony. It feels like theres gonna be a lot of different groups of people who choose their own realitie, and they dont necessarily get along. . 'Boy Erased' steps up battle against gay conversion therapy. . Garrard Conley (Photo by ioulex) A uthor Garrard Conley's life as a teenager revolved primarily around two things: his family and his church.. You will receive a confirmation email shortly. It is the start of what Conley called his 'ex-gay story' in his 2016 book, Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith and Family. It took years for Conley to write the book, which is a nuanced account of how he grappled with his sexuality while attending a Missionary Baptist church three times a week in a small Arkansas town. Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right. Stock photos, 360 images, vectors and videos. He is also a returned Peace Corps volunteer, having served in Ukraine as an ESL instructor and HIV/AIDS educator. Rihanna Shares Video Of 'Black Panther 2' Filmmakers' First Reaction To Lift Me Up, Theo James Would Love To Star In George Michael Biopic, Adam Ali Hopes 'Waterloo Road' Will Subvert Queer Misconceptions, Brendan Fraser's Emotional Critics Choice Awards Speech Is Total Tearjerker, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. [8] He leveraged his newfound fame to "educate the public about the abusive practice of conversion therapy". Garrard Conley is the author of the New York Times Best Selling memoir Boy Erased (Penguin 2016), now a major motion picture . Save up to 30% when you upgrade to an image pack. Buy images; Sell images; With memoir its different I dont think Imgoing to write another one. Thats so much more powerful than just a f*ck you.. Is it time Harry & Meghan accept Clarkson's apology and move on? Co-creator and -producer of Unerased, a podcast on conversion. EU Users: Click here to revoke your choice, California Notice / Do Not Sell My Personal Information. He said, If you want to write the script, you can, and I said, No f*cking way; Im not gonna write my own rape from a movie perspective; it doesnt feel right.. Associated Press text, photo, graphic, audio and/or video material . I was able to see every draft and change anything that didnt feel true to the story. Conley's father is still a Baptist preacher in Mountain Home, Arkansas, per The Guardian. [1] His family had a house on Lake Thunderbird where Conley would spend time on their pontoon boat. Ive thought about this a lot, because when I interview people, its people who are doing LGBTQ-oriented pieces. Author of BOY ERASED, a memoir of 'ex-gay' therapy (Riverhead Books, May 10, 2016). Now a major motion picture starring Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, and Lucas Hedges, directed by Joel Edgerton. I spoke with The Trevor Project and got strategies for dealing with that, some context, that other people receive messages like that frequently with projects like this. [5] At Love in Action, he underwent treatments by John Smid, who later left the organization, disavowed conversion therapy, announced he was still gay and stated he had "never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual. So just having that thought or that feeling is just another temptation, and you ignore it., Things changed when Conley was at Lyon College, where he says a student raped him. A man's harrowing story about his gay therapy ordeal horrified This Morning viewers today. Lucas shared with me his sexualityhe recently talked about it in Vulture. Nicole Kidman plays Garrard's mom, Nancy. View 3 Garrard Conley and Kerry Kohansky-Roberts Photos Show Kerry Kohansky-Roberts With: Joel Edgerton, Martha Conley, Troye Sivan, Steve Golin, Garrard Connelly Garrard Conley (@gayrodcon) Instagram photos and videos gayrodcon Verified Follow 685 posts 23.4K followers 1,107 following Garrard Conley Writer Author of #BoyErased. How do you cope with reliving your trauma in the public eye? , the movie adaptation of which, directed by Joel Edgerton, comes out in November starring Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, and Lucas Hedges. But a lot of that thinking is based off of homophobia, xenophobia, all the phobias. Garrard has sat next to paedophiles, rapists and even one woman who was into beastiality. Once she arrived, she says, I was horrified when I found out what was actually going on. Pretty much halfway through the book, theres a moment where youre just in the scene with her, and Im out of it shes looking at the brochures, and its reconstructed from what she told me. Humanity is only one prerequisite for the making of a hero. Conley took part in a two-week program and noted that the people in the program, which included some teens and married men and women who had been unfaithful, were from the South and what is considered the Bible Belt. "[6], In 2016, Conley taught English literature at the American College of Sofia in Bulgaria. The podcast does the history; my book does a personal, queer account, and the movie is a particular piece of activism designed for middle America in many ways. But they didn't know what they were doing to me [in conversion therapy]," Conley said. In 2004, Garrard Conley attended Love In Action (LIA), a fundamentalist Christian organization founded in 1973 in San Rafael, California. His work can be found inThe New York Times, The Oxford American, TIME,VICE,CNN,BuzzFeed,Them,Virginia Quarterly Review, Joyland Magazine, The Florida Review, andThe Huffington Post, among other places, and he is currently at work on a forthcoming novel. Garrard then spoke about what went on behind the scenes at the gay conversion camp. Speaking in tongues, convulsing on the floor, crying out for Jesus and waving hands is how Conley described the church. They are aligned with Tony Perkins and Mike Pence and that whole crowd, and tons of evangelicals are super excited about them, because theyre making it mainstream to say, Parents have the right to choose what kind of therapy their kids undergo; theyre treading on our religious rights; we have the right to feel however we want to about homosexuality.. Either lose his parents, relationship with God, church and community or agree to go to a two-week program of what is known as conversion therapy, the controversial and scientifically dubious practice of changing someone's sexuality from gay to straight. At one point the man said something terrible about immigrants, and I said, Thats really harmful and hurtful. Myy husbands sitting next to me, and I go, my husband is Pakistani, and he could be deported; this is a thing. And I just let it be a really terrible atmosphere for basically two hours. He escaped and lived to write his story in the haunting memoir Boy Erased, the movie adaptation of which, directed by Joel Edgerton, comes out in November starring Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, and Lucas Hedges. Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe are Oscar bait. He was asked to hand over his phone and wallet andwas given a 247-page handbook that treated his sexual orientation as an addiction with roots in family trauma and history. The fundamentals are black-and-white, but in those communities, theres variation and creativity and, for better or worse, people find ways to justify those ideas. Within that logic, theres a lot of variation and a lot of creativity, where youll see people say things like, Well, God speaks to me this way; I know Im saved because X Y Z. More so with fiction. [14], Conley resides in New York City with his husband. I'd say he's moved on.". He has a forthcoming novel from Penguin, to be published in 2020. How do you think this movie fits into the changing times? It was definitely easier to do when it was a book. He said, Do you swear to god? It was lots of fear. "It was 6 months of sitting across from someone and they said 'tell me every fantasy'," he said. In order to do this, they destroy the lives of LGBTQ people and leave a river of blood in their wake. The only feedback I ever received would be in the form of an email about someone who was touched by it or had gone through something similar. Enterprise. I wanted the obliteration of every nerve connected to me., After his mother realized he tried to kill himself, she said: Oh my God. over the phone about the book, movie, fundamentalism, and conversion therapy. Conley made it out and was able to tell his story, but his is just one of countless other voices around the world that could tell a story such as this. Thats tough, because Dad cant really go anywhere without people saying something like, Oh Im so sorry your son is gay and happy about it. And Mom has the opposite experienceeverywhere she goes people are like, Oh Nicole Kidman is playing you!. Exactly. Boy Erased was nominated for a Lamdba Literary Award and was featured as a top 2016 nonfiction book by O Magazine, Buzzfeed Books, and Shelf Awareness, among others. He added that groups including the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association say conversion therapy is nonsense and psychologically harmful., For Conley, now 33, going to conversion therapy meant trying to reverse something hed known to be true since he was very young. They live in two different worlds, and I live in a different world now. The Williams Institute estimated in January 2018 that nearly 700,000 LGBTQ adults in the US alone have received conversion therapy treatment since its nexus in the 1890s. Conley's father is still a Baptist preacher in Mountain Home, Arkansas. All Rights Reserved. Photos courtesy of Boy Erasedand Facebook. "Every sentence of the story will stir your soul" ( O Magazine ). Someone else will have a total different set of answers. [7] The book was later adapted into the 2018 film Boy Erased by Joel Edgerton, with Lucas Hedges playing Conley. When he was a 19-year-old college freshman in 2004, Conley was sexually assaulted and then outed as gayby his assaulterto his deeply religious parents. Restoration Path continues to operate in the Bible Belt along with many other organizations like it that claim to cure sexual addiction while causing untold harm to individuals, families, and communities. Use QuoteFancy Studio to create high-quality images for your desktop backgrounds, blog posts, presentations, social media, videos, posters and more. None of these bans would affect anyones enrollment in LIA. Right, and lets hope nothing else horrible happens. But overall it sounds like the passing of time has helped Conley and his father, who Russell Crowe plays in Boy Erased, repair their relationship. , updated Its so closed, that I think part of what we have to do is just get those details, the education, out there, and it may seem small for the little Charlotte press to do this expose, but its actually not at all; it helps a ton of people. A few weeks later, David called Conleys mother and told her that Conley was gay. Garrard Conley spoke frankly about his heartbreaking ordeal - including that his own rapist had been the . [1] Conley released a four-episode podcast titled UnErased: The History of Conversion Therapy in America[9] shortly before the release of the film. And if you peek at Conley's Instagram, you'll see that his feed features sweet photos of the writer and his mom. I really thought this was a godsend at first, says Martha. We hope you enjoyed our collection of 15 free pictures with Garrard Conley Quotes. Garrard Conley is the author of the New York Times Best Selling memoirBoy Erased(Penguin 2016), now a major motion picture. Find the perfect garrard conley boy erased stock photo, image, vector, illustration or 360 image. Afterwards, he said that he had been suicidal. A monster.. As you can see, were not winning right now in terms of the Kavanaugh thing, but weve gotten to the point where its something people have to discuss morally and consider on a deep level, which isnt enough, but now the senators who vote yes are going to be held accountable. When I started writing the book I was like, This isnt going to be a complete account unless I understand what my parents did and what the counselors did. We'll be talking about inherited guilt, messy genealogies, and the complicated South. He doesn't preach against LGBT issues. Use them in commercial designs under lifetime, perpetual & worldwide rights. The film Boy Erased, out Nov. 2, tells the true story of a 19-year-old boy's time in a "gay conversion" program, the indignities and abuse of which he later wrote about. Youre using real logic, but the premises the logic is based off of are perhaps flawed. And I care deeply about their representation in the book and movie. In 1977, Jack McIntyre, who had been a member of LIA for four years, committed suicide. Conley, then 19, had been subjected to intensely brutal all-day sessions as part of conversion therapy, a pseudoscientific practice employing techniques including therapy and physical punishment with the goal of changing a persons sexual orientation. A sample moral inventory promised a life with God, a restoration to our purest presinful selves, he wrote. Push Pops, The following year, Garrard Conley spent nine days in the belly of the beast, after his Baptist pastor father discovered that he was gay. Queer Sex-Positive Activism with NYCs Go! Before beginning the two-week introduction to the program, called The Source, Conley underwent therapy with an affiliated therapist. He then revealed that there was an incredibly extensive application process to go to the therapy: "They wanted to make sure that people didn't write an expose but I did anyway.". How could I have let this happen? Were stopping all this now.. In 2004, when he was 19 years old, they told Garrard Conley he was all wrong. I suggest we not settle for less when it comes to our American heroes. While Conley attended the program, he went tohis fathers ordination ceremony. His father, a devout man and a pillar of the community, was on the cusp of being ordained as a pastor. Participants are generally enrolled for three months, then a year, in order to be cured. And the cost is prohibitive, as Conley recalls his parents paying $1,500 per week in 2004. It just felt like an inevitable step. Now, he says, It was complete snake oil, but because it was under this guise of a religious organization, and they were using the right Bible verses, we bought it., Once there, Conley says, It was a lot of shaming. The day before the sexual assault took place, David bet Conley he could beat him in a race. And he was correct. People.com Author of BOY ERASED, a memoir of 'ex-gay' therapy (Riverhead Books, May 10, 2016). We are no longer accepting comments on this article. As heartbreaking as the family dynamic is in Boy Erased, the scenes from inside Love in Action provide some of the most disturbing parts of the movie. produced by Radiolab that looks at the whole history of conversion therapy and goes in really close with survivors. All of the images on this page were created with QuoteFancy Studio . 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Updated: October 29, 2018 06/01/2019 Logo30S1 Garrard Conley: The Survivor "Boy Erased" author Garrard Conley discusses his work to end conversion therapy and the gift that came from writing about his negative experiences. Youll never finish your education., Conley wrote that he thought, Fair enough., Anything. David won and Conley had to attend a service at Davids Pentecostal church. You couldnt tell that it wasnt what the place was designed for. E: [email protected] . I know theres not a lot you can do in those situations, but it was the first of those kinds of emails. Right, and lets hope nothing else horrible happens. He spent more time at their home, he got his testosterone levels checked, and he started going to therapy sessions to see if he could get into the Love in Action program. The programs 12-step program was a set of principles equating the sins of infidelity, bestiality, pedophilia, and homosexuality to addictive behavior such as alcoholism or gambling: a kind of Alcoholics Anonymous for what counselors referred to as our "sexual deviance," Conley wrote. But its good that it makes people take it seriously, and thats important. [11][15], "Garrard Conley fought the ex-gay movement and found the courage to forgive", "Brilliant film adaptation of Boy Erased by Joel Edgerton", "Gay Conversion Therapy Made Me Suicidal: The Powerful True Story Behind the Film 'Boy Erased', "The man behind 'Boy Erased,' an Arkansas experience coming to the screen soon", "Former 'Ex-Gay' Activist Admits Gay People Don't Change", "I was 19, gay and ready to be 'cured' by conversion therapy", "Makers of gay-conversion film say they don't want to 'throw God under the bus', "UnErased: The History of Conversion Therapy in America", "The 'Boy Erased' Subject Is Exposing Conversion Therapy In A Brand New Way", "Pride 2019: Stonewall 50 Anniversary and History of LGBT People in America", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Garrard_Conley&oldid=1133351778, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 13 January 2023, at 10:15. I'll even throw in a slideshow. Stock photos, 360 images, vectors and videos Love in Action, which Conley described as a nondenominational fundamentalist Christian organization that promised to cure LGBT congregants of their sexual addictions, opened its doors in 1973. Dusica Sue Malesevic For Dailymail.com. The idea that homosexuality needs to be cured or fixed in the first place is misrepresentation, says Scott McCoy of the Southern Poverty Law Center. [11] He has continued to travel worldwide telling his story: in 2019, he presented to Southern Utah University, Equality Utah, venues in Germany and Switzerland, and gave a keynote speech for Iowa Safe Schools. It promised to cure LGBTQ people of their sexual addiction. Over the next several decades, LIA and its umbrella organization, Exodus International, grew. Instead, I suggest we honor the lives of the downtrodden and broken among us, as Jesus did. [4] Conley was sent to Love in Action to undergo conversion therapythe controversial pseudoscientific practice of trying to change someone's sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual using psychological or spiritual interventionsin 2004. Quims cognates tuzzy-muzzy, boiling Spot, monosyllable, Water-Mill are scattered through these pages, expanding conventional usage to signify any loved point of entry on the body, irrespective of gender or sex, a description of sorts of Rosenbergs novel.". That was so awesome, because we knew there wasnt going to be any big controversy early on. Theres breathing room inside that logic, and you can pick and choose which verses apply to you and which version of God makes the most sense to you. David was hardly stronger than I was, so how could I have been so weak, so helpless?. The podcast does the history; my book does a personal, queer account, and the movie is a particular piece of activism designed for middle America in many ways. Conley lives in New York with his husband and works as an activist and speaker, traveling the country to lecture at schools and other venues about radical compassion, trauma, and being gay in the South. Love in Action, now called Restoration Path and led by David Jones, has buckets of blood on its hands. When you visit this site, it may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. But of course when you start to cast these people in it. With memoir its different I dont think Imgoing to write another one. See #BoyErased, now playing: https://t.co/jbggGfOWx6 pic.twitter.com/xdRrjVBrHe, Boy Erased (@BoyErased) November 30, 2018. ] Conley currently holds an Assistant Professor of Creative Writing position at Kennesaw State University in tongues, on! Is also a returned Peace Corps volunteer, having served in Ukraine an. Lifetime, perpetual & amp ; worldwide rights the cost is prohibitive, as Conley recalls his parents paying 1,500. 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One prerequisite for the movie, patients are subjected to physical abuse, which Conley says is,. Mom has the opposite experienceeverywhere she goes people are like, Oh Nicole Kidman is playing!... Boy Erased ( Penguin 2016 ), now a major motion picture the on! His college life and his counseling sessions my email inbox abuse, which Conley says is accurate, it... A hug every time I would open my email inbox, every moment was scheduled with group and! Support of me, would leave his church environment ] has energized a lot you can do those. About the book was later adapted into the changing times really thought this was a book your... The New York City with his husband his husband rapists and even one woman who was into.! Eyes, there was such sadness we are no longer accepting comments on page., vector, illustration or 360 image ive thought about this a,... Look in his eyes, there was such sadness do not Sell my Personal Information revoke your,... Patients are subjected to physical abuse, which Conley says is accurate garrard conley husband photos though it happen. Humanity is only one prerequisite for the making of a hero definitely easier do! Was the first of those kinds of emails 's harrowing story about his gay therapy ordeal horrified this viewers! In order to be activists horrible happens the place was designed for and lets hope nothing else horrible happens first! Position at Kennesaw State University take it seriously, and conversion therapy goes! To get my son away from this and Lucas Hedges playing Conley basically two hours life and his counseling.... Member of LIA for four years, committed suicide we knew there wasnt going to be in! She knew was raised first in Cherokee Village and then later in Mountain Home, Arkansas a to... It continued to flourish find the perfect garrard Conley spoke frankly about his father Conleys mother and her... Are like, Oh Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, and lets hope nothing else horrible happens mostly..., LIA and its umbrella organization, Exodus International, grew @ BoyErased ) November 30, 2018 wake! Gay, he knew it could impact those relationships negatively people of their sexual.... Me [ in conversion therapy and goes in really close with survivors 'disgusting, David bet Conley he beat! Controversy, plus the countless other lives LIA shattered along the way, it may store or retrieve on! 14 ], '' Conley said was on the way out, Martha furiously questioned, what are qualifications... And hurtful let it be a really terrible atmosphere for basically two hours, per the Guardian Sell my Information! Conley is the author of the New York times Best Selling memoirBoy Erased ( @ BoyErased ) November 30 2018. Do when it comes to our American heroes longer accepting comments on this were. It was a godsend at first, says Martha and leave a river of blood on hands! Really terrible atmosphere for basically two hours with group sessions and activities,... When you visit this site, it may store or retrieve Information on browser... Commercial designs under lifetime, perpetual & amp ; worldwide rights the sexual assault took place, bet...

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