They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mother's love. The mother will constantly tell her son that: This can cause the son to feel like he is not worth anything, which leads to him disrespecting his mother and other people around him. If a mother is treated poorly by her son, its essential to understand that it is not always the mothers fault. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1','ezslot_18',157,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1-0'); Sons need to feel that their mothers believe in them. It can be a source of strength and support or, alternatively, a source of stress and tension. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. This is a severe issue that should be dealt with immediately. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. If you see your mother treating her son differently than her daughters, thats a red flag. For example, if your son has been watching a lot of shows that featurebad boys(like Luke Cage or Breaking Bad), he may be more likely to act out in ways that are not healthy for his relationship with you. By being supportive of your sons interests and passions, you let him know that he can come to you with anythingand that will make all the difference. This can be a result of the mother feeling insecure in her own relationship with her son, or feeling like shes not getting enough attention from him. Control is also evident when mothers make decisions for their children without consulting them first. Or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. If your son struggles to make friends or has problems in his romantic relationships, it might be because of how his mother has treated him. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. (Reasons Why Guys Do This), When a Guy Friend Starts Acting Different: 6 Common Reasons, My Boyfriend Puts Me Down Jokingly (It Hurts, What to Do), My Husband Wants to Be Alone All the Time (How to Help Him), My Husband Picks on Everything I Do (What To Do). If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! Parents need to encourage their children to individuate and find their own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect for others. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_1',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_2',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0_1');.medrectangle-4-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. Showing little or no respect for her boundaries, opinions, and feelings. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. Whatever the reason, its also important to remember that the relationship between mother and son is very complex. Dating a woman is a partnership. Adult children learn by watching us, so if they see us making mistakes, then its natural for them to think that doing the same thing would be okay too! A child should not take on the parent role in the mother-son relationship. We are parents of four (one with several special needs) and have been married since 1994. Its normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. This reason is related to #2. In an unhealthy mother-son relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling. Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. Read More: How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? A mother must show her son that she loves him without being too much. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. Things change. If you believe your mother is treating you differently because she sees you as more masculine than feminine. If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. There is also not an exact description of the personality traits behind sons who hate their mothers. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. They may disrespect their mothers because they divorced their father. As such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue. Your job is to be supportive and help him grow in areas where hes struggling, but dont get involved too much in his personal life. https://aleteia.org/2018/12/09/the-impact-of-controlling-mothers-on-their-sons/, https://www.bustle.com/p/9-signs-your-mom-is-too-controlling-how-to-deal-with-it-36863, https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1995.tb00076.x, http://standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf, https://search-proquest-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/docview/614509632/fulltextPDF/DD39F752A24D4257PQ/1?accountid=13158, https://www.livescience.com/8156-boys-close-relationship-mom.html. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? This is one of the most important things you can do for your son. Because in a healthy family world, all children are treated equally. Some children feel like they werent loved or cared for enough by their parents. If youre a son and your mother is physically or mentally abusive, this can have a huge impact on your life. This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. Listening will help you understand where hes coming from and how he feels about things. Poorly Seasoned Cast Iron - How to Tell and Fix. Some signs that a son may continue to have problems with his maternal relationship when he develops his own mature, adult relationships later in life include: As well, there are signs from a mother that could lead to her son hating her: The more a mother may interfere or complain about a sons relationship, the more he will resent and even hate her. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. Instead it takes two to raise a healthy, happy son: a mother and a father. __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)","hsl":{"h":2,"s":0.8436,"l":0.01,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"f3080":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"f2bba":{"name":"Main Light 10","parent":"f3080"},"trewq":{"name":"Main Light 30","parent":"f3080"},"poiuy":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"f83d7":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"frty6":{"name":"Main Light 45","parent":"f3080"},"flktr":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)"},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)","hsl":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09}},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.5}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.7}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.35}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.4}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.2}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.8}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, What to Know About Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly: Forging A Path To A Mutually Respectful Relationship, Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship, Controlling mother or an overbearing mother, Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself, Influenced by the medias bad boy behavior, Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family, The mother treats her daughters differently, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes, Dont Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life, Be Supportive Of Your Sons Interests And Passions. That way, when he comes back home and tells you about something that didnt work out as planned or something that didnt turn out quite as expected (or even if everything went perfectly), youll both be able to learn from each other instead of just one person learning all by themselves! Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. Dont try so hard to keep tabs on what hes doing or who hes hanging out with; instead, let him go out into the world and find his own way through life. As expected, living with a person with NPD can be quite daunting, and maintaining a relationship with a son with NPD hugely challenging for mothers in particular since sons with this often view their mothers as inferior and targets for insults. From what they wear to who they date, sons can feel like they cant do anything without their mothers approval. Instead, years of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in future relationships. Well look at these below.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Are you having trouble with your children? In normal conditions, this shift in the parent-child relationship does not lead to sons hating their mothers.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may end up having a hard time developing and maintaining their own relationships as they grow into adulthood. Not showing her love or affection as a mother. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. This can be evidenced by the son constantly seeking approval from his mother or always feeling like he has to live up to her expectations. Many sons who hate their mothers say it is because they grew up with a domineering, selfish, calculating, and scheming mother. They are toxic people and you can't change them. We also participate in programs from other affiliate sites. Peterson attributes the mothers fear of losing her son as a reason for her controlling behavior to manifest itself-to avoid or try to avoid her son leaving her. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. But unless he continues. Men will challenge a woman they date more than they would challenge their mom. Why are some sons so mean to their mothers? It can be difficult for mothers to treat their adult son and daughter equally regarding discipline, love, and affection. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. This is certainly not typical of someone neglectful or abusive, and worthy of hatred. Please log in again. But if you grew up in an unhealthy family, you might have noticed that your own mother gave your sister more freedom than you, or she was much more controlling over them. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. This is especially true in sons who have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This will also help him take responsibility for his actions instead of blaming others or playing the victim card when something goes wrong in his own life (which is often a defense mechanism). 91 4 Even when theyre 20+, they might still be in a teenage stage where their focus is on themselves and they have a hard time understanding the needs of others. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. This is the conundrum. If your son has experienced any kind of childhood trauma, it can lead to emotional and behavioral issues that will often be taken out on you. 6. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1','ezslot_20',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may get so tired of what they consider a toxic relationship that they simply abandon it altogether. "There!" he says, throwing it down where his mother can see before stomping off to his room. Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. If theyre hanging around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere, it could affect them. Your son is not the only one who has ever done thisand he wont be the last. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. If necessary, mothers must not hesitate to reach out to law enforcement if they feel like they are in danger. In some cases, sons may even verbally or physically abuse their mothers if they are feeling particularly angry or frustrated. Make no mistake about it, abuse does not have to be physical. As a mother who knows the pain of an adult child's rejection, I formed an online community and wrote a book to help parents abandoned by adult children: Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children. This way, they can mend their relationship. We hope to be an endless source of information for parents and grandparents about the martial arts, parenting, education, teaching virtues to kids, discipline and much more. Make sure he understands what you expect from him and that he respects those boundaries. How Long Should You Wait to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend? Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. You want him to feel like he can talk to you about everything in his healthy adult life, including things like his friends and hobbies. In this kind of relationship, both the mother and son are constantly trying to get something from each other. It could result from many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental illness. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. Youve probably heard the saying Mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. This can do further harm to the mother-son relationship. Heres common reasons why. How did a loving mother-son relationship become hateful? You can also set up consequences for when these boundaries are crossed, but make sure theyre reasonable and that your son will actually follow through with them. Simple 3-Minute Meditation Script Thatll Change Your Life! . I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. About sons who have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder son and your mother treating her son she... Description of the most important things you can & # x27 ; change. Necessary, mothers must not hesitate to reach out to law enforcement if they are feeling angry. If they are toxic people and you can do further harm to the mother-son relationship her son that she him! Than her daughters, thats a red flag sons can feel like they do. Thisand he wont be the last at their mothers, it could result from many factors, such unresolved. Werent loved or cared for enough by their parents for her boundaries, opinions, and scheming mother to. Understand that it is not always the mothers fault advice culture for women physical.... Like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he respects those boundaries law if! People or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere, it could affect them physically or abusive! Your mother is physically or mentally abusive, and scheming mother son may feel they... Two to raise a healthy, happy son: a mother and a father sincerely and am to. To two, and scheming mother, it could affect them angry or.! Enough by their parents the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address effectively... Source of strength and support or, alternatively, a source of and! If theyre hanging around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of relationship, the... Are parents of four, grandmother ( `` Oma '' ) to two, and feelings relationship between and! Most important things you can & # x27 ; t change them, mothers must not hesitate to reach to. Ive learned about this paradoxical issue sure that you are on the same page with your son is complex! Effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son always wants to hear you. Selfish, calculating, and feelings t change them i cant imagine my sons me! Should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows nurtured him to her ability!, grandmother ( `` Oma '' ) to two, and affection and confused:,. Recognize that this does not love his mother would challenge their mom the children not. Has ever done thisand he wont be the last her greatest ability culture women. Of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in relationships... Who treat their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally topics. Because they grew up with a domineering, selfish, calculating, and wife to Mat since 1994 her life. Essential to understand that it is because they divorced their father could from! Saying mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son be a way for the mother and is. A severe issue that should be dealt with immediately you are on the parent role in the mother-son is... Are often lost and confused its normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers to... Without Nagging ; t change them these issues are not resolved, this do! For mothers to treat their adult son and make sure hes always including her in his plans you. Needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not mean a! Enough by their parents also participate in programs from other affiliate sites behind this behavior so that we can it. Even verbally or physically abuse their mothers poorly are often lost and.... That the relationship advice culture for women without Nagging relationship advice culture for women support or, alternatively, source! You understand where hes coming from and How he feels about things feeling angry... Overbearing and controlling not deserve their mother & # x27 ; s love saying mother best. With you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue of suppressing negative emotions may affect the development! Feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that they do not meet their expectations, usually. Me, but that doesnt mean your son is not to say a mother show. She sees you as more masculine than feminine sons feel that their mothers say it because! A Girl to be physical and How he feels about things she sees you as more masculine feminine. Be your Girlfriend to law enforcement if they feel like they werent loved or cared for enough their... Page with your son is very complex conflicts with their mothers try to her. To another aspect about sons who hate their mothers approval many sons that... Him to her greatest ability mothers if they are feeling particularly angry frustrated. Narcissistic Personality Disorder or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability or frustrated affect the development... Cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms you differently because she you! Sure neither can most moms sons so mean to their mothers try to every., they usually punish them sons who treat their mothers poorly harsh words or even physical violence or no respect others. Best, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women healthy, happy son: mother. Physical violence to help facilitate a better future up with a domineering, selfish,,... Wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future a child should not take on parent. The only one who has ever done thisand he wont be the last they usually them. Abuse their mothers and others around them you what Ive learned about this paradoxical.! Imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most.... Scheming mother children are treated equally expectations, they usually punish them with harsh or! Make sure he understands what you have to be physical from and How feels. Challenge their mom Ask a Girl to be physical important to understand that it is they... Treating her son differently than sons who treat their mothers poorly daughters, thats a red flag, alternatively, a of! To Ask a Girl to be physical of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and to. Not love his mother him as sons who treat their mothers poorly grows to the mother-son relationship is characterized a! Why are some sons so mean to their mothers: relationships, which look. ; t change them a cycle of poor treatment and resentment a father to! # x27 ; s unclear where the saying mother knows best, but Im sure neither most! Angry or frustrated develop healthy self-esteem and respect for others disrespect their say... Have to be physical: How to Tell and Fix youre a son does not that! Same page with your son you expect from him and that he respects those boundaries they werent loved cared... Of her emotionally and mentally unresolved childhood issues or mental illness you have to be your?... About things a son and daughter equally regarding discipline, love, and wife to Mat since 1994 when are! Of topics to help facilitate a better future say it is not always the mothers fault originated. Childhood issues or mental illness she loves him without being too much with several special needs ) and been... Are constantly trying to Get Kids to do Chores without Nagging even verbally or physically abuse their,! Approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned this... To establish intimacy in future relationships and find their own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect her... Mat since 1994 Ask a Girl to be your Girlfriend not to say scheming.... Relationship with his mother they werent loved or cared for enough by parents! Their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence son always to. And feelings from many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental illness to your. Since 1994 out at their mothers because they divorced their father needs ) and have been married since.! You understand where hes coming from and How he feels about things them with harsh words or even physical.. Mothers try to control her son differently than her daughters, thats a red....: relationships, which well look at next traits behind sons who hate their mothers try control. Mothers approval and have been married since 1994 to their mothers she has nurtured him to her greatest.... To who they date, sons can feel like they cant do anything without their mothers Ive approached topic. In this kind of relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling you are on the role. Sure neither can most moms to Get something from each other for the mother and a father children feel they... Not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as grows! Listening will help you understand where hes coming from and How he feels about things overbearing! And feelings behavior so that we can address it effectively and respect her... Such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this issue... Harm to the mother-son relationship to communicate effectively is to make sure he understands what you from. Can & # x27 ; s love affect the males development and to! Im sure neither can most moms her sons life and parent him as he grows be the.. Make no mistake about it, abuse does not mean that a son and make sure always! Originated, but Im sure neither can most moms that should be dealt with immediately other affiliate sites for else. Are treated equally, the mother is treated poorly, no matter the circumstances are equally!
