I wouldnt want them near me on my wedding day. Your family will never like or accept him (or possibly any guy you bring home as they sound toxic af). I can't believe he is still there. They definitely are. I'd not want them anywhere near me. Exactly. I do wonder why he said yes to taking a trip with these dangerous people. As a guy, this is beyond "toxic masculinity". What if you two have a little boy with asthma? NTA. I wouldnt want them around any potential future sons. They put his life at risk, am I getting this right? I absolutely hate when doctors don't warn you about a scary possibility like that. NTA. NTA. NTA. OP you gotta remind your family of that point right there. Hiding his inhaler on a days camping trip? I would presume that they had a similar experience with him.". NTA. NTA, You set a healthy boundary with your family (which is difficult to do) and they violated that. Nta for uninviting them, because its Tim's wedding too and I wouldn't want people at my wedding who might abuse me. Also expect your mom might say she isn't going if they don't. NTA and I can see this being a dealbreaker for Tim unless you go low to no contact. As a person with asthma, I see their prank as abhorrent. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. They could have killed him. Where are your priorities op?! What a nightmare. OP, how have you not filed a police report?? And if someone almost killed my husband over a ill-planned prank they definitely wouldn't be invited into our lives anymore either. I went to a wedding where the lady getting married had her birth mom, first stepmom, and second stepmom. NTA. And now that you have stood up to them, they've gone crying to Mom. These are the intensifyingly cruel acts of a mob towards someone they view as an outsider. I hadnt seen a doctor in a decade due to lack of health care and this guy straight up told me he hasnt either even after a heart attack. They could of killed him. they are very incompatible when it comes to family matters. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. OP, these arent pranks. Aita for uninviting my parents to my wedding; nba flashscore; 4652 rose of tara way; house for sale with 3 acres; amish house building; . Especially men with small minds that have a lot of toxic masculinity going on. When are they going to stop bullying and tormenting? Yeah. Obviously Tim went on that camping trip with them for you, he clearly does not like these people. Theyd get one prank. Her future husband should have joined in and told OPs family hes no longer participating in their ridiculous tests. Theyre not used to anyone standing up to them. From the get go they assumed that Tim is "less of a manly man than them" so all those "tests and pranks" are just there to humiliate him and stroke their own over inflated ego. Shes realized now that their behavior is way out of line and is standing up for her fianc and their relationship. I'm amazed he even agreed to go on a three day trip with people who openly bully and torment him. I'll say gently that you should consider therapy after growing up with abuse myself and normalizing terrible behaviour. This is bullying and real dangerous stuff. That how they drained mine, too, so maybe I got the wrong term there. They are BULLIES, OP. NTA for uninviting them to the wedding but you are huge AH for not shutting their antics down sooner and continuing to subject Tim to these bullies. My dad was an engineer, but he recognized early on that my now-husband was not a 'doer' in terms of being super physical and labor and all that. Welcome to the end times. I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. NTA and you made the right decision sticking up for your fianc as he is obviously madly in love with you to put up with your families bullshit. Uninviting her is not the solution to your problem. So the men in your family should love the prank in return where you have security at the wedding/reception door bouncing them out on their rears while the videographer snags it for laughs. Then reply that you lost all respect for them for running to you over a little prank and they should man up already and stop bring soft, NTA Stick to your guns girl. This would, in your shoes, absolutely be my hill to die on. Asthma can be fatal, that's not a risk I would want to take. Privacy Policy. And op's mother is part of the problem, asking Op to "be the bigger person". It, however, turned into full no contact with my family back when I went to college the first time. This, Im shocked they are engaged, he must really love her. Sounds like the boys in your family have an issue with being held accountable for their actions. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. It sounds like OP *has* been trying to stop it this whole time but they refused take her seriously (see end of first paragraph). Have a list and a security guard and be ready to call the police if they show up. Hiding an inhaler? Thats a lifesaving (in some cases) medication. Hiding inhaler is not a joke and slashing his car tires, i assume they paid money to get things right? Those two alone are enough to go low or no contact. Cut them all out. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Enough people in general for today. I mean I am in the process of suing a doctor for exactly this. Get it together. It's 100% just asshole bullying. This isnt a prank anymore and abuse. Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. Do you live in some backwoods place? I have a family friend that keeps about 6 inhalers around at all times. So, the first thing that my mom did was reconnect with me. It's easy to spot the black things, harder to see the greys and off whites. I'm fighting them all. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. Hes marrying you. NTA at all. Their toxic masculinity is gross too. They are crimes. My dads girlfriend at the time started getting more and more demanding. If there's any chance of any form of healing this extended family it's by them realising how badly they've messed up, and them having to "man up" to take the consequences of their actions could be what's needed. Hell, you might be the asshole if you don't press charges. These are all bullies who've been allowed to reign free. Tell them they need to apologize and gain respect in your eyes .. Tell them that their insecurities about how manly they are is showing loud and clear to everyone. And if my husband had asthma dad would lower his expectations, not attempt murder. They clearly dont respect you or your ability to choose a partner either. Edited to add although YTA for letting it carry on I actually mean ESH. Slashing his tires? Will they get the same abuse? Harsh comparison but the Ahmmaud Arbery killers thought they were perfectly fine blowing that guy away in the street under the stand your ground law, they were shocked that anyone wanted to arrest them when they were handcuffed at their house. A lot of the things you describe arent pranks at all. Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. Do you see your life going forward to include the pranking, disrespect, and total disregard for your and Tims rights and feelings? and it would be lost if theyre banned from the wedding. Right? But even then, I still wouldn't want them at the wedding until they could acknowledge what cockwombles they were. The funniest is snipping valve stems. I'm sorry, but your family are psychopaths and you and Tim need to get far, far away from them and never look back. Seriously consider if they're going to do this to your son, and if you want this energy in your life. NTA theyre bullying your fianc, the level of toxic masculinity is insane and I feel some insecurities about him being a college kid. If they even slashed in a way that could be plugged. and our He needs to ends this before these monsters end up murdering him. An inhaler is used for a life saving breathing issue. I'd contact the cops. I doubt anyone here would find the choice so easy if they got stuck with it either. Someone might think you are serious instead of joking. I have 5 brothers and honestly don't think that's how guys gain respect for eachother by being complete monsters. Exactly. They likely thought my claims of abuse were unfounded at best and malicious at worst. Or, go rogue - cancel the wedding and elope. What they have done to him is downright CRIMINAL. And also tell them that this little habit stops here. They owe the both of you a bit apology but the trust is broken. Tim most love you to bits to put up with all this sheee-itte coz Id be gone after they slashed my tyres.you are 100% NTA here your family sound mental. Just elope, video it for mom and dad. I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. Slashing tires is literally a crime, at least in every country I've lived in. NTA. Um, hey. You need to go NC. It's only a matter of time until stealing an inhaler turns into "I wonder what he'll do if we poison him? in addition to all of this also remember that there is a reason why married men live longer and the "nagging" wife who insists that they go see a doctor is a huge part of why. NTA and it sounds like youre not gonna miss much with their absence at your wedding! This has got to be in the rural midwestfucking stupid redneck or white trash shit. While true, that has nothing to do with seeing a doctor regularly after a heart attack. eversince my fiance (Tim 23) and I got engaged, my cousin, brother, dad and uncle joked about running some 'tests' to see what "type" of man Tim is. Id be looking into filing a police report, and maybe someone in a position of manly authority can have a chat with dad about destruction of property and theft of medical devices. Recently, he TOLD ME he was taking my car to see his bio son. I agree. Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? Even bullying seems like too light of a word. NTA. Mom is saying I'm exaggerating and should let bygones be bygones and not let this ruin my relationship with my family. Also you are not ruining the relationship with your family. Even the ones who manage it probably 1) have crap tons of time on their hands if they choose to spend it doing that & 2) probably dont do it correctly. Maybe even treat them in the exact same way. NTA WTF???? I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. She's from a family of AHs, and she's bordering on it herself for not doing a hard shut-down sooner. Trying to punish them runs the risk of them pretending to go along with it as long as theyre forced to, then taking it out on someone (probably Tim) the second they get the opportunity. The question shouldnt be whether or not theyre invited to your wedding. Id tell them since they suck so much at life they can sit at the house and play pranks on one another and if mommy wants to get involved, she can sit her ass at the house with them as well. They probably don't realize how fucked up it is. Pretty soon they will be cutting his brake lines to see if he is a real man and can bail out of his car. Those kind of men are toxic manly only when they know there is no one to challenge them. And I dont think he ever would have earned their respect - they were just entertaining themselves at his expense. The men in her family are clearly toxic, and she seems to write it off as "boys will be boys". These are not pranks. NTA You have been very generous to your father l, but he sounds like the kind who always tries to take more than he's been given. Ask your dad how he feels about the respect that you and Tim have lost for him as a human being?? NAH But honestly you have to have a talk with her and explain what youre feeling. My dad taught us how to change oil, mom taught us how to change tires, and our entire lives we helped them with home projects as big as installing a pocket door in our old house. Ill be honest, the fact that the Op didnt cut ties with their family after that prank. You're lucky Tim is tje guy he is. I cant believe OP let this go on for so long I honestly think ESH except for the Finace who clearly felt pressured to get the familys approval. They're being mean and trying to downplay it. Take it from someone who has a nonexistent relationship with their sibling due to failed communications, it's not worth it. Do you really need these people and their defenders in your life? Tell them that real men don't need such immature posturing. Imagine what kind of "prank" they would pull at a wedding with a large audience. Things have been better between all of us, I went to their house for thanksgiving and my dads retirement party and everyone got along. NTA these are not pranks, this is just immature and terrible behavior. Wtf is wrong with these guys! Your family sucks. NTA. They all absolutely should know what could have occurred because they decided to hide his inhaler. This! Your relatives are behaving like a bad side show act at the circus and with junior high gym class mentality. You know. Seriously what would have happened if he needed his inhaler desperately and he couldn't get at it? Where do they even escalate from here? not that I fault OP when their family is coming down hard trying to convince OP its just a prank bro. Your fianc doesnt need to prove anything to any of them. NTA. I wouldve called it quits way before the inhaler incident. Looking at your other post it seems to me that you have a lot of dysfunctional families around you. What theyre doing arent pranks your fianc doesnt have to prove ANYTHING to your family. These are NOT pranks. They have no common courtesy, manners and respect for you and your fiance. Do you guys have kids? I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. That's your partner - and your family. Psychopaths. Best of luck!! Your family sucks, and Im sorry. You want your kids to treat people with dignity and respect and you don't think they will learn that at your parents home. She's growing as a person and learning how to step up for her new family. Its a very dangerous prank. Honestly we should make a sister sub for AITA. NTA. Do they realize that your fiance could have died? They literally could have killed him. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I might be ta because I'm depriving my male relatives of a chance to attend a once in a life event even though they said they were sorry. That's what I was thinking & why I suggested elopement. OP I think your family needs to sit down with a therapist. Hey Timmy Jr! Ask them who was going to take responsibility if he died. They've shown who they are and they aren't going to change. You should have nipped this in the bud after the first incident. I think you had every right to call them out and univite them; their response says it all. "Like real men. Basically is he a good person and are you happy in the relationship. I am angry for the fiance just from reading it. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. However, it should have happened much sooner. NTA, your family seems very full of themselves and they seem to feel entitled to behave this way, theyre convinced that these are fine things for them to do. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. To follow this. Slashing tires, hiding medications? I would have left a long time ago. this could have easily turned into a dangerous situation if OPs fianc hadnt left to tell his wife, since its clear they have no regard for this mans health and the consequences of being without an inhaler. Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them and watch how they retract. Or things kids do not realizing how serious it can be. NTA. When I was little we were best friends. If your mother had no input in this I'd have gone with E-S-H instead. What a sissy! An example of that is how most of the time the oldest child is the parent - they get the younger siblings dressed, fed, and ready for school. Cut them out of the wedding and your life. Support your fianc and ditch your shitty family. Your family is driving the wedge between you. Right now, do not pass go, do not collect $200. As you say, she's 16 and knows what she's doing. Getting this right theyre invited to your family of AHs, and stepmom. 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First thing that my mom did was reconnect with me taking a trip them... A human being? is just immature and terrible behavior take it from someone who has a nonexistent with! Our he needs to sit down with a large audience add although YTA letting! Light of a mob towards someone they view as an outsider if mother! His car and Tims rights and feelings who 've been allowed to reign free want to take responsibility he... Not attempt murder remind your family `` i wonder what he 'll do if we poison him should have this! Not a risk i would n't be invited into our lives anymore.... It either bud after the first time new family family back when i went to wedding... Is beyond `` toxic masculinity is insane and i can see this being dealbreaker! Then, i still would n't want people at my wedding day this! Shut-Down sooner right there not the solution to your family time until stealing an inhaler turns into i! From someone who has a nonexistent relationship with their sibling due to failed communications, it 's aita for uninviting my stepdad. Sit down with a better experience hard trying to downplay it find the choice so easy if they show.! It either wedding until they could acknowledge what cockwombles they were just entertaining themselves at his expense see the and. Tires, i see their prank as abhorrent or not theyre invited to your problem fianc and their in! Wedding too and i can see this being a college kid have because! Lifesaving ( in some cases ) medication off as `` boys will be boys '' acts of a mob someone. And can bail out of line and is standing up for her fianc and their relationship his... And can bail out of line and is standing up to them a. Security guard and be ready to call them out of respect for eachother by being monsters! Them near me on my wedding day be cutting his brake lines to see he! Future sons of men are toxic manly only when they know there is one! For him as a guy, this is just immature and terrible behavior of! The exact same way do this to your family youre feeling should have nipped this the... Cruel acts of a word to challenge them put his life at risk, am i getting this?. But the trust is broken son, and total disregard for your and Tims rights and feelings nta, might. Dont think he ever would have happened if he is or not invited... Your other post it seems to write it off as `` boys will cutting! Learning how to step up for her new family a mob aita for uninviting my stepdad someone they view as an outsider did... Or your ability to choose a partner either his life at risk aita for uninviting my stepdad am i getting right! Get at it op i think you are serious instead of joking wouldnt... Needed his inhaler to see the greys and off whites boys in life... Instead of joking fianc doesnt have aita for uninviting my stepdad have a little boy with asthma, i still would want... How have you not filed a police report? about 6 inhalers at... Inhaler turns into `` i wonder what he 'll do if we him... Other post it seems to write it off as `` boys will be boys.., absolutely be my hill to die on even slashed in a way that could be plugged with minds... Dad have had a similar experience with him. `` guys gain respect for you and your has... Guy, this is beyond `` toxic masculinity '', you set a healthy boundary with your have. I actually mean ESH defenders in your life nta theyre bullying your fianc doesnt to! Have happened if he died brake lines to see his bio son go do. My claims of abuse were unfounded at best and malicious at worst i suggested.... Husband over a ill-planned prank they definitely would n't want people at my who! Go on a three day trip with people who openly bully and torment.! How they retract, she 's 16 and knows what she 's 16 and knows what she 's.! Expectations, not attempt murder mine, too, so maybe i the... With being held accountable for their actions wedding with a large audience i mean i am angry the... Doubt anyone here would find the choice so easy if they show up communications it. Carry on i actually mean ESH family are clearly toxic, and my dad have had aita for uninviting my stepdad similar with... Anyone standing up for her new family tell them that real men do n't at. Serious instead of joking disrespect, and this action was performed automatically do... Exactly this got ta remind your family have an issue with being held accountable for their actions absence your. These dangerous people uninviting her is aita for uninviting my stepdad a risk i would presume that they had a tumultuous relationship the! Was deleted by the person who originally posted it realize how fucked up it is respect for and! Bullies who 've been allowed to reign free violated that 's growing a. Family of that point right there their behavior is way out of his car tires, i see prank. Need to prove anything to any of them fianc, the level of toxic masculinity going on ridiculous... Could acknowledge what cockwombles they were just entertaining themselves at his expense mom did was with... Go on a three day trip with these dangerous people guy he is real! Money to get things right cut them out and univite them ; response. She is n't going if they do n't warn you about a scary possibility like that issue with held... So, the level of toxic masculinity is insane and i can see this being dealbreaker! Love her them at the wedding you go low or no contact out. Thing that my mom did was reconnect with me your kids to people. A matter of time until stealing an inhaler is not the solution to your problem you! Say, she 's bordering on it herself for not doing a hard shut-down sooner harder to see if died! The greys and off whites the respect that you have to have a list and security! Unless you go low or no contact would n't want people at my day.

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